2016年6月25日 星期六

[伯明罕大冒險] 主修老師 暖男B

教授B是另一個我非常喜歡的男神級教授,雖然他上課肚子常常一直叫好像永遠都在挨餓,而且每次見到他都睡眼惺忪,但是無論課再多、上課途中遇到多少人攔住他要和他討論系務、一再delay他的行程,他方圓半公尺內總是籠罩著一股從容的氛圍。他的耐心不會因為繁重的工作而耗損,即使我的曲子像坨屎他還是會很耐心的示範實驗各種可能或是不厭其煩講解一些我應該要知道的理論與原理。即使一邊肚子叫一邊耐心地上著已經超過時數很久的課,對他來說好像沒有什麼事情大不了。
嘗試各種可能的過程會把我的檔案弄得亂七八糟,不過回家重新思考挑選之後曲子都會精緻很多,明明自己在家弄到覺得已經快要完成的曲子到他耳朵一聽又有一堆可以改進,都是些那麼細微的變化:幾微秒的拍點移動、幾db的dynamic、不同種類的reverb或是將空間pan到不同方向、一點點的EQ、一個素材 來來回回玩得介於聽得出來和聽不出來原本的物件是什麼。
有些嘗試可能不適合這首曲子的實驗,有些卻莫名地為曲子增色不少,可能是完整了頻率、創造更多元的聲音與趣味,就像他說的這都是個人喜好,不代表妳一定要這樣改,重點是有這麼多種概念妳能嘗試。每一次下課我都覺得自己是一個全新的人,被按過重新整理鍵那種,同時又壓力很大,因為以為做完的作品又多出了雜毛要處理,而這些微小的改變,在新版本與舊版本中或許根本聽不太出來哪邊不一樣,但修改過後整體來說就是比較好聽。


[Adventure in Birmingham] Exquisite result always comes from subtle changes.

B is another tutor I admire a lot. His stomach rumbles a lot during session like he is always in starving and he seems doesn't make efforts to open his sleepy eyes, but he always seems so chilled like nothing in the world would bother him even his schedule is full of lesson and lots of delay due to bumping into someone who wants to have discussion on department issues with him.
Being important and busy doesn't drain his patient while listening to a very early stage of my work which sometimes might sounds like a shit or to explain some theories, terms or whatever the knowledge that I don't know. The best part of the one-to one lesson is that he will do some practical experiment on my piece. He hits the point by listen to the piece once or twice and make suggestions immediately no matter on musical aspect or the angle of acousmatic and mixing balance.
Every time I bring a piece which I considered almost finished, he makes a bunch of suggestion. I'm amp and feeling refreshed as well as stressful by knowing there are lot of improvements could be made in my work. After save as a new file, he starts to mess up the session. All of the possibilities make sense not just crazy idea flash out. Sometimes change goes too far sometimes it just works too well. I amazed by the messed up session and can remain the decision later on after play a bit more. In his words "It's just a matter of preference, it doesn't mean you have to do it but I think you got the idea." Movement between few milliseconds, few db of dynamic altering, different kind of reverb or panning on reverb, etc. Hundred of ways to play with a single sample whether to enrich the frequency or create a sense of vague boundary between sounds. All these subtle things lead to a more exquisite result. It might not easy to tell the different between but it sounds better somehow.

2016年6月17日 星期五

[Adventure in Birmingham] YAKINORI

Yesterday wasn't my day...I had my period with a night shift and it fxxking hurt. So I took a pill then went out. After 7 it began to rain madly and I can't believe this new grand centre building start to leak. The restaurant nearby even had flooding inside and something dropped down from ceiling. Fortunately they've been closed for a while.

The even bad news was I had the shift with Manager H who is an interesting person that can be pissed off by anything easily. There are countless things I would like to share about this person but I rather leave it until next time since there are so many interesting personalities in this little restaurant that I think I can write a column on human observation.

I learned a new technology by pissed her off again yesterday. That was when a lady with a Birmingham brogue came for a take away order. After finished her box I asked if she would like anything else, and she said no. So I began to concentrate on cashier. Suddenly she asked me do you have apple pie? I was like what? apple pie in Japanese restaurant??So I asked her "Apple pie?" She said again: "Yes Apple Pie." Until now H lost her temper and rubbed away the credit card machine from my hand saying said "Yes" to her and took over everything.

When the lady handed out her mobile I finally understand she was saying "Apple pay" well... I'm so embarrassed that I don't know people can pay by iPhone simply by contact now!

H didn't say a word after. And that's the most interesting part of this person. She had limited patience and always looks like she is too tired to teach. When she needs help to do something but it's a new thing or she only taught me half way through the whole process. She becomes mad and tells me don't attempt to do anything if you don't know how. Sometime it's like a disaster to her and she prefer to redo everything again only because different methods but same outcome or I'm slower than her.

So every time when I look at H busy rushing everywhere, poker face to customer or yelling at me I couldn't help but smile because she is so funny a person who caused lots of panic and pressure on others and herself.

The most difficult part working here is that non of us are English native so everyone has different accents and some are really hard to recognised. H herself always speaks quiet and fast and I usually couldn't understand her the first time. I guess that's one the reason I piss her off so often 😂😂😂

2016年5月31日 星期二

[伯明罕大冒險] 主修老師D的啟發:關於熱愛生命

我很喜歡我的主修老師D,不只是因為他的音樂專業,還有因為他活了那麼久還是對世界充滿好奇,我們上課常常超過時數,因為總是有新鮮的主題可以討論,他很高興找到另一個瀕臨滅絕的物種,我說因為這個世界每天都有太多驚奇而我所知道的是這麼少。而老師明明就知道很多,卻還是能保有對世界的熱情。

我告訴他我曾經想當野生動物保育員、作家、地理或地球科學學者、插畫家、音樂治療師,他說曾經想當獸醫、喜劇編劇、牧師、哲學講師、彩繪玻璃維修技師。在他的作曲以及音樂製作還沒有出路前,他過著非常貧困的生活,當過馬飼育員、壽司師傅、街頭賣藝的鼓手、最後沒有被買的劇本編劇、作家...。

「做什麼工作並不重要,重要的是找到一件事讓我們能完全奉獻並且展現出我們對生命的熱愛。」

這幾天,隨著我的腳跟疼痛及肚子餓到極致,回家後身體虛脫頭腦卻還能繼續製作下一首作品,我想或許人生有時能透過不喜歡、不合理的工作讓我們面對喜歡的工作有更高的強度,而遇到喜歡的工作中不喜歡的部分也更能甘之如飴。

內場的摩洛哥廚師會說四種語言:英語、西班牙語、法語、阿拉伯語以及一點義大利語,他看著我眼睛散發出崇拜的光芒說:「但是我就只是在一個廚房裡工作」我很想跟他說D告訴我的那段話,但是我還想不透D到底是什麼意思,所以我只好跟摩洛哥廚師說,你很有才華,我真希望我也能說那麼多種語言,一個人的價值不能用他做什麼工作來衡量。

我還想不透,但是至少我知道如果兩年前我打過這份工,那在面對前公司那樣的薪水以及工時應該也能坦然接受了吧,畢竟許多時候在聲剪或製作音效中時間過得特別快,對我來說那是有意義有成就感的事情,我忍受不健全的制度及低薪。在這小小一間店裡,英國人、西班牙人、立陶宛人、羅馬尼亞、香港人、印尼人都為了錢忍受超長工時,馬來西亞壽司師傅說給我錢,其他什麼都不要,工作就是為了錢,不然還有什麼?

我沒有說話,看著摩洛哥廚師無奈地洗著雞肉,手上一碗油膩膩的炒麵,廚師對這盆員工炒麵應該沒有什麼熱情。對生命熱愛的表現是什麼?我們要怎麼在工作中展現出對生命的熱愛呢?

一年前那個看不見未來的我不見了,現在看到的遠方一片荒蕪荊棘,好像隨著資本經濟的發展,哪個國家的人都一樣,工時越來越長、工作收入卻越來越不能支持生活開銷,但是現在的我比一年前的我不害怕了。

2016年5月8日 星期日

[伯明罕大冒險] 擺在眼前的事實不見得是真相

明天過後就是年度作品集的期限,這兩天都工作很長時間,就在剛才我的耳朵已經開始痲痹,快要分辨不出我掛的效果到底有沒有差異了,於是不浪費春暖花開的好天氣,我決定去超市買洗碗精讓耳朵休息一下。(說到這個實在超蠢...其實我昨天就冒著大雨衝出去買冰淇淋和洗碗精,因為宿舍的洗碗精是共用的!早就用完了但我一直窩在宿舍做作品,結果回到廚房發現我只拿了冰淇淋)
回到作品集,本年度我幾首重要的作品都是Electroacoustic music,從剛來這邊根本分不清楚acoustic, electonic, electroacoustic, acousmatic這些名詞,到現在能非常享受自己外出錄音,然後創作聲學的曲子,最近在寫的一首曲子,我想將怪手拆圖書館的聲音慢慢轉變成湖邊波浪的聲音,就在試了好幾天後,剛剛閉起眼睛聽終於能說服自己了,這就是聲學的趣味之處吧!聽見的聲音不見得是你想象中的物體發出來的!
走去超市的路上,每天經過兩遍的小徑今天長得不太一樣,就在我跑過紅綠燈,迎面而來是整面枝葉繁盛的綠,一棵開滿了白色的小花的樹在陽光下bling bling,但是磚頭路上卻鋪滿了粉紅色的花瓣,我看著眼前美麗又怪異的景色,一路上一直在想到底是怎麼回事?於是回程時我決定順著小路繼續走到粉紅色花瓣消失為止。
如果我在轉角就停下來,我永遠也不會發現原來擋在眼前整片的綠墻之後,藏有一顆開著粉紅色小花的樹,而這些花瓣乘風而來。眼前的白色小花是個顯而易見的答案,但轉過彎,看遠一點才會找到真相。


[Adventure in Birmingham] Answer which easy to find might not be the truth.

The deadline of annual folio assessment is one day away, and I start to feel that I lost my hearing. Not to waste such a nice weather. I decided to get my ears some rests and go out for a walk.
The most important pieces this year is all about electroacoustic and I enjoy so much engaging in sound transformation. In the latest piece I'm working on, there's a destruction sound and I'd like to slowly transform it into wave sound beside a lake. Sometime I close my eyes and suddenly it sounds like a real water sound rather than destruction sound. Hearing is not believing but I believe I will keep on exploring.
On my way to Tesco, the pathway looks different today. A flourish tree with white little flowers under sunshine standing right there and the brick road covered by pink petals everywhere. This is quite a view as well as dodgy. I was wondering all the way and when I walked back I decided not to go home straight but walk along the pathway a bit further to see where the pink petals ended.
If I stopped by the corner I would never find out there's a tree with pink flower hidden behind the bush and that's where the pink petals come from! Seeing is not believing!

2014年3月30日 星期日

24的三個願望

         這一年面對全新的人生階段:發掘自己的小丑水能量(可能從釋放眼淚開始)、學生變社會人(從時尚設計界跨足電影圈像個白癡)、家族中第一個孫子輩舉行盛大婚禮(穩定交往的人開始被關注)、外公的阿茲海默惡化到新的一級(更新的領域需要我們陪他走過)。


        轉變總是痛苦,巨大而突然的轉變令人崩壞或者快速成長,緩慢而必然的改變卻刻骨銘心,像蝴蝶破蛹,掙脫蛹殼後,需要在靜謐處待一個小時,搧動雙翅使之展開。這是牠最脆弱的一個小時,心無旁騖地將那充滿液體皺褶的薄膜攤開並乾燥成一雙能夠帶牠飛翔的翅膀,展翅完成後,也不是第一次振翅就能飛得很高很好,大概要經過兩三次的練習,才能花間栩栩。


        活了這麼多年,第一次在生日許願時,真心希望我身邊的人健康快樂、世界和平 。小的時候總是把「大家健康快樂,世界和平」當成是一種義務來許願,從來也沒見過哪個親人朋友病重,從沒想過人會有許多煩惱而不快樂,以為只要把心情頻道選擇到開心,就可以快快樂樂過每一天。不知道黎巴嫩一直和周遭國家的發生衝突,不知道敘利亞人民遭到被流血鎮壓,不知道查德的軍政府濫殺了無辜,不知道蘇丹人民正大徙遷移只因為又爆發了內戰。也不懂得擔心烏克蘭和俄國的衝突以及美國的介入是否構成兩大角力的再度對峙。


        今年生日,我真心誠意地許下第一個願望:願我身邊的人都健康快樂、世界和平。除了驚訝於離開學生身份後世界的面貌,傷心近日台灣內部與世界各地的動盪,然後真切體認一個人要健康快樂過每一天有多麼珍貴。又因為感受到大家給我的愛,所以誠心為大家許願。這麼多平時忙於生活的人,都在我生日這天一股腦兒出現,不管是用什麼樣的方式,都給了我溫暖:大老遠跑來我家開party、吹風等待只為送個禮物說一聲「有妳真好」、越洋掛號、平信包裹、簡訊問候、生日過了才發的簡訊變成聊天、facebook、facebook搭便車、line。

        謝謝這些人讓我知道,我們之間的連結還存在,不管是深厚的存在還是淡淡的存在,這就是緣分,我會好好珍惜。特別打從心裡感謝那些許久不見,又突然在生日當天出現並且邀約見面的故人,謝謝你們沒有放棄我,讓我的行程一路從生日前一週排到生日完一個月,真的很幸運、很感謝上天讓我認識了每一個人。


        第二個願望:願在這次轉變中定位「我是誰」就像蝴蝶曬完翅膀試飛的階段,在這個重要的年華,需要做幾次嘗試,不多、不長但能找到最適合飛翔的地方和高度。也因為第一個願望,讓我漸漸了解到當我得到太多的愛,發現太多需要感謝時,最好的方法就是將它分給這個世界、回饋給社會,也因此,提示了一些關於我的人生課題以及人生價值。


        第三個願望,要感謝一個人,幫我保留了自己都差點忘記的期許,一個在青春無敵又無所畏懼的18歲的期許,但是拿到這個充滿變數、刻骨銘心的痛苦轉折的年紀自勉恰好。